Choosing a Guardian
February 18, 2011 § 1 Comment
guard·ian: defender, protector, or keeper : a person who looks after and is legally responsible for someone who is unable to manage their own affairs, esp. an incompetent or disabled person or a child whose parents have died.
Choosing a guardian for babyzook was part of the Home Study (an assessment, done by a social worker, of prospective adoptive parents to see if they are suitable for adopting a child) process.
We took several weeks to weigh the possibilities and discuss Hoo holds the same faith, values and parenting style as us? Hoo is willing to put in the extra work that is required to raise a child of a difference race–have a transracial family and continue to educate themselves, the child and others throughout the child’s lifetime about their (wonderful) differences? Hoo is prepared to incorporate aspects of the child’s birth country’s culture into their lives and surround themselves with people from other ethnicities that look like the child?
A transracial family is going to draw stares from people everywhere it goes. An adoptive parent will have to deal with answering questions like “Is that your real child?” on a regular basis and will have to determine to buffer the child from well meaning and also not-so-well-meaning comments that are hurtful.
In the case of adopting, a parent’s love isn’t enough to shield the child from racism; Frequent and deliberate conversations are needed beginning at an early age.
So, babyzook, hoo are your guardians going be…?
In the end, we couldn’t choose between our sets of parents so we did a coin toss. My parents won and graciously accepted the role of being babyzook’s “defender, protector and keeper” if ever necessary.
Thank you mom and dad!